Week Two - Mr Non Motivated!

So, last week, I did the training session for an hour with Tony.  It was really hard and to be honest, at one point my heart ached so much I thought I was going to faint.  I just kept going.  He seemed motivated, although having worked with T for ages now, I also know that he can be pretty flaky too.

I was in real pain Thursday evening, but felt good for doing it.  I felt so ill by late evening, to sleep and take the pain away I had to take anti inflammatory pills.  I am still in pain today, and today is Tuesday.  Tony booked today in and at 9.30am when we were supposed to begin, the phone in the office rings.  It's Tony, telling me he can't make it today and can we do it tomorrow at 9am.  I felt pretty deflated.  I can let myself down, I don't need anyone else to join in with the demotivating partyyyyyy!  He then tried to tell me to do at least twenty mins on the bike.  I certainly didn't feel motivated by him.  I got on the bike because I felt that today, with MY effort, it would have been a waste if I hadn't even bothered to do something for myself. 

I did twenty mins on the bike to Jessie J and sweated some.  I feel a bit deflated myself now, although I still have to move forward and do this.  Never rely on anyone.  It's not worth it.  I think I may do a search and see what I can come up with for a trainer and pay someone.  I don't think I fancy a semi pep talk from Mr T today or tomorrow and as kind as it was for him to offer to do this, there is really no point if he just plays on my worst feeling, which is me failing because I just can't be bothered!  If he can't be bothered, then where the fucks the motivation going to come from?  Telephone Gym motivation, shall we trademark that shit?

Mr Motivator!!!

Now, I'm not expecting Tony to come dressed up in red Lycra, but I am a little worried.  Today, I'm in at work for 7.45am, mainly because I couldn't sleep.  I wanted to sleep, I wanted to snooze, but the thought of having to work out today with Tony made me get up and come into work.  I packed my 'gym' bag last night, it popped the zip it was stuffed so full.  I only had a small towel, tracksuit bottoms, top and a hoodie.  It's my Biggest Loser hoodie, well... my pretend one.  All in 5xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxl sizes.  The pants are far too big, they drag on the floor, that's excuse no. 1.  So when they catch in the exercise bike I can fall off the bike and pretend I can no longer walk.  Trouble is, I already tried to tell Tony yesterday I had a broken leg, but he didn't listen.

One of the kids, (I say kids, he's in his late 20's) is now a taxi driver and he gave me a lift in today.  He was off to play golf, having recently passed the knowledge.  It was nice to see him, but he didn't quite get why I at first refused the offer for a lift.  The walk in is one of my only work outs so far.  So I suppose I am a little worried about today as well as really hoping that it gets me mentally enthused so that I can burn this huge load of fat off.

I have no real idea what he has in store for me.  I think he is looking forward to beating me up in the 'gym' as it were.  I do know that he wasn't to do 'the pads' so I shall be boxing the crap out of it.  My tea this morning just doesn't have any taste!  Signing off and hopefully won't be signing on from hospital after a heart attack!

Oxygen

Princess Betty Le Principauté de Monaco

I need some air today.  As it begins to warm up here in London, I can feel the panic set in.  I hate this time of year, certainly in the last few years as I grew in size.  Fat on top of fat doesn't make FatBetty a happy brrd.  Everything is aching, I only have a little way to walk in to work, but sometimes it feels as though I am climbing mount Everest. 



Today, the whole staff team are off to a training day, in Fulham.  Whoop fucking doot.  Do I want to go and take in Child Protections stuff?  Nope, there is a procedure to follow when something crap happens here, we follow it.  I don't need to be told of anything other than if the law has changed and that policies need to be updated to state that.  I feel panic inside, my muscles ache and I just want to be able to relax.  I keep thinking of what I can do to bring some life back into me.  I was doing ok, having discovered some great food at M&S, so was able to calorie count and feel ok about things.  Then I binged at the weekend.  The more out of control I feel with food, the more dark the world looks.  I could feel that shadow creeping up on me at home over the weekend.  I had to shake it off.

I just wish I didn't feel so tired.  I remember being fat but physical, I was able to move, to walk.  Now everything is a pain.  My back is aching from the weight of my belly and really, just how un-natural is that?  I bet Madonna doesn't feel this shit every day, but then she goes to the gym to work off any fat cells and she buys little black babies in boxes!. 

Yesterday myself and Dean went to pick up my glasses from specsavers.  We popped into Primark to get some blank t-shirts for the printing project at work.  I saw these funny little pink poodle bags, so bought one for all of the Donny crew.  I wrapped them in Gingham wrapping paper and presented them to the Donny Crew.  For most the evening, we dressed the poodles in brightly coloured ribbons, adding a certain je ne sais quoi to the adorable little pooches.   It's hard not to turn into a WAG when carrying a stuffed pink poodle.  It made me want blonde weave and nail extensions.  My poodle is called Princess Betty of Monaco.  Dean called his Esmeralda, Rosie called her Lulu, Kelsey called hers Tallulah and Ruby, we have to wait and see as she was sick yesterday she took her pooch home.  So now I wait for the rest of the staff to come in and then we have to do the long trek to Fulham.  Blergh.  I haven’t even had a tea as yet. 

M&S - My New Best Friend!

Well, what can I say.  Today, myself and Dean popped off to Hammersmith to get my eyes tested at Specsavers.  Whilst we were up there, we decided to pop to M&S.  My sister kept telling me that when she lost her huge amount of weight a few years ago, that is where she would trot to get some of their food.  I must say, if you have even bothered to read some of the past reviews of Sainsbury’s selection of packaged food, then you know pretty much how I feel about them.  I use them when I am trying hard to contain the portion size.   

I see them as plastic and processed and not very good if I’m honest.  Yes, I have my favourites.  The Sainsbury shepherd’s pie is one of them, be good to yourself one.  It’s filling, plastic, but filling and I swear it is made with the majority of soya as meat in gravy.  The label says otherwise, but hey ho.  That’s by the by.  So, as I may have mentioned I have stocked up on the Sainsbury packaged foods, so we could taste them every afternoon.  I must say that since the Stew and dumpling in ale gravy, I say this all with a grimace, I really couldn’t face the others in the freezer.  The bad taste that is left in your mouth after eating those boxed foods is atrocious.  

Anyway, so I popped along to M&S and looked at some of the fuller for longer, count on us – the lower calorie food items.  I was shocked that first off, the boxes are such that you can pull the cardboard aside and look to see if the image on the box resembles anything like the food in the tray, and you can.  It was amazing.  The food actually looked really nice and very much like the picture on the box.  The sausage, mash and gravy looked slightly gloopy, but I didn’t buy that one anyway, so no matter.  But overall, the site test tempted us enough to purchase.  I chose several from each range and a salmon and potatoes and watercress salad to have today, with some breakfast items and also desserts, which I normally don’t bother with.

All I can say is I have never felt food pop onto taste buds as it did this afternoon.  So much so that a one word review of ‘amazing’ would have done.  The salad in total was 240 calories, yet it felt as though I was eating well over 700.  Amazing fresh food, good taste, beautiful colour, and no bad aftertaste, just the sensation of fresh herbs and amazing dressing teasing the taste buds as the taste faded in my mouth.

I am astounded.  I have bought food from M&S before, but usually cakes, or cold and cooked meats.  This packaged food is glorious.  Their pots of food in little round see through pots that can be microwaved are so tantalising, I am scared to think of how else I shall feel when dinner time comes round.  The only thing I am not too pleased at, which I didn’t see in the store was that those potted meals cannot be frozen.  Pity.  But it is worth the trek to M&S once a week just to top up for lunch time food.

I am astounded.  I urge you to pop along and try some of these meals.  Sainsbury’s could learn so much from the boxed food.  I will of course be letting you know what the boxed meals are like which I purchased for the freezer, as and when I eat them.  I didn’t even have time to take a pic for lunch today, it was gone before I thought of leaving a review.  Tasty goodness, Lord Have mercy on my soul, I finally found portioned food that I can eat!

Midday Meal Taste Testerssssssssssssssssssss

Beef stew and dumplings. 

Sub title on box; tender pieces of beef & veg in a rich beef & ale gravy with dumplings.  

Let's take this as it's being sold to us as consumers shall we?  Take a look at this image.

• Wow, look at that beef.  It's almost as good looking as when I make my own stew.  
• Look at those wonderfully plump dumplings, 
• the thick gravy, 
• the whole cow being served up on your plate, or promise of one - in a stew for one!!!!! Wow.  Thank you Sainsbury's for looking after me when all I really want to do is eat too much and eat huge portions sizes.  Thanks for weighing out this deliciousness and doing the major work for me so all I have to do is pop it into an oven and wait for that tasty goodness to come forth and bellyply!
   
• Beautiful looking carrots, and yes, yes... that could be turnip or swede.  A sprinkling of additional herbs looks as though this is all we may need, bar the wonderful suggestive peas and broccoli in the background.  No worries Sainsbury, I can manage that much...
  
  It's so yummy, we were quite excited to get it out of the oven and eat.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  

I could just end this here really.  Because you can see from the images just what was pulled out of the depths of hell that is the oven! 

I'm not sure that in the packaging we might have missed something.. You know,  like a small set of control fairies which changes the product whilst its cooking in the oven, out of site, just to fuck you up when you see this thing appear.  Something happened.  Because that stuff above this paragraph, is not the stuff they show on the box!

There is a faint smell of fake alcohol, or maybe it's real, who knows.  Is it ale?  I doubt it very much.  The liquid gloop, sorry 'rich beef and ale gravy' is an insult on taste buds, but has such a weird odour, that it leaves you shuddering.  There is an after taste that both of us had, enough to send Deanie down to the local shop to grab some diet coke to wash down the badness with.

430 calories of beef stew like Grandma used to make?  Unless Granny was trying to kill you, then no, not like any human ever made.  The picture on the box compared to what was inside the box, cooked, was not comparable and is deceitful if I am really chucking it all out there on the table, unless of course you're a food starved pygmy from deepest darkest Baloogna who has never heard of Sainsbury's or had them or any of the other super markets ruin their taste buds.  

Who sits at a table at the big super markets and says, hmmm well done science food lab, this meal really tastes like Grandma used to make it'?  Who?  Someone please tell me who those people are because:


1. They're liars.
2. We have a loaded shot gun with a bullet especially for them.

I feel cheated really.  If I wanted to be poisoned for £1.50 I could have found rat pellets for less!  Sainsbury's, get rid of your taste testers, something is going horribly wrong if you think your boxed food really taste like somethin' kinda good!
Verdict:
This food is not food!!!!!! And is not worth the £1.50 paid for each of these meals.  It's just a box full of mess.